Category Archives: Sports

No Peace for the Wicked (of the NBA)

The Phoenix Suns won their season opener last night, knocking off the NBA’s most overt crew of cheaters and floppers, the San Antonio Spurs, by a final score of 103-98. In reference to last night’s game as it compares to the numerous instances of flopping, dirty play, and ref bribery by San An that preceded it, I offer the following condolences to the Spurs:

Tough luck. Your childish little ‘Hack-A-Shaq’ BS did not work this time and your petty excuse for a super-star got posterized by Amare as he was still recovering from a scratched cornea. Wanna see?


Boo-yah! Right down Main Street! How do ya like them apples, Timmy-boy?

GO SUNS!

Advertisements

Pork Chop Gets the Axe

On recent trip to Allentown, PA to visit my grand-parents I learned that, beginning this season, the city would become home to a minor league baseball franchise. The Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs (formerly the Lynx of Ottawa) would represent the Philadelphia Phillies as their local affiliate at the Triple-A level. However, the arrival of the new team to the area has been marred by accusations of racism by local Hispanics regarding the name of their mascot.

Based on over 7,000 fan submissions of potential names, the cartoony, metallic pig had originally been given the title of ‘Pork Chop.’ The team quickly conceded to the complaints of “several Hispanics” that the name was offensive and dumped the fan-chosen name prior to the start of the season. My first thought was, “What is offensive to Hispanics (or anyone else) about naming a cartoon pig ‘Pork Chop’?”

Apparently the pig’s chosen moniker has been used by some people as a derogatory term for Puerto Ricans. Aside from the fact that this seems like a stupid racial slur (not stupid in the sense that it demeans a group of people based on race but rather because it is, in reality, a type of food and therefore should offend the group at which it is directed no more than someone calling me a ‘Cracker’ would offend me) but it is a term of which I doubt most people have any awareness.

Guillermo Lopez, vice president of the Latino Leadership Alliance and one of the prime complainants about the name, hammered this very point home with his own statements when he noted, “If my parents were alive, they’d be having fits. It meant much more to them than it does to Puerto Ricans now in the Lehigh Valley.”

Exactly! This may have been an offensive to term to a select group of people over 20 years ago but that is clearly not the case anymore. Moreover, this name was being given to a pig! The pig is the mascot and therefore the physical representation of the team’s spirit and camaraderie. The name was being used in the most positive of connotations (unless you are an actual pig) and this moron has not only stripped the public of their chosen name but also breathed life back into what was a dead racial slur so that an entire new generation of bigots can use it to belittle his own people.

So congratulations, Mr. Lopez, to you and all your fellow ‘minority’ groups out there who continue to fan the flames of prejudice by constantly reminding the public at large of not only the myriad of differences between our races, religions, and genders but also of all the ways with which they can offend you.

Oddly enough, nobody was offended by Pork Chop’s replacement, ‘Wetback the Dolphin’

The most ignorant statement from the whole story did not come from those who were offended, however, but from the man who conceded to them. General Manager Kurt Landes said of his decision to change the mascot’s name, “We were really unaware of any negative connotations with the word ‘pork chop.’ If it offended a few, it’s a few too many.”

No, it isn’t! The things we say and do can always be found to be offensive to a few people on some level, but that is no reason to alter our behavior. There will always be those like Lopez and his ilk who have nothing better to do than complain about things which could be offensive to some tiny sub-group of people (even if those people are from a past generation, as in this case) and if everyone continues to concede on the most innocent of or alleged faux pas then we, as a majority of the people, place ourselves ever more at the mercy of the few yahoos pathetic enough to spend their days searching out new ways to be offended.

If anyone involved in this entire situation is guilty of racism it is Mr. Lopez and his Latino Leadership Alliance of Lehigh Valley who, according to their own mission statement, claim the the LLA “seeks to improve the quality of life for the Latino community and the entire Lehigh Valley.” I would be interested, however, to know what specifically this organization does to help anyone in Lehigh Valley who is not Latino.

According to their president, the LLA “promotes education by providing ‘Si Se Puede’ workshops” in local schools. Sounds to me like these workshops are geared specifically to Hispanics (or at least only to those who speak Spanish.) I don’t speak Spanish and I find it offensive that they would discriminate against me simply based on my ethnicity or the educational opportunities I have had.

The group also gives out dozens of scholarships annually, but they are only open to Latino students. That is the very definition of racial discrimination and, once again, flies in the face of their claims of improving the quality of life for everyone in Lehigh. It makes me sick that groups like the LLA are able to promote the advancement of only those individuals who have the same color skin and speak the same language as they do. This organization and all those who support their bigoted, racist agenda should be ashamed of themselves.

I have gone on for long enough though. It is nearly dinner time and I am getting hungry. I think I will go get a pork chop so I can eat… that Puerto Rican chef sure knows how to cook. (Thanks for teaching me a new word, Guillermo!)

Bruce Bowen Deserves to Die

If anyone can put forth a rational argument against the title of this post then I would be amused to hear it.

Bruce Bowen is human garbage. He is a disgrace to the game of basketball and to humanity at large. This moron capped off his league-leading 500th consecutive game by fouling Chris Paul (and somehow getting away with it, as usual) before hauling back and kicking Paul in the balls as the Hornets’ star lay defenseless on the floor. Even better, Bowen first assumed his usual hands-in-the-air innocent pose while delivering the kick to Paul’s man-region.

The one bright spot that arose out of this is that the NBA finally sat-up and took action against Bowen, suspending him for one game and fining him somewhere in the neighborhood of $37k. Yet still I have many questions for David Stern and his league-lackeys, such as: Why only one game? Why only $37k? And, most of all, what the hell took so long? This guy is dirtier than the floor of a Mexican port-o-potty and anyone who watches NBA basketball (aside from a select group of myopic Spurs’ fans) knows that Bowen has deserved much harsher punishment for many years.

Spurs’ coach Gregg Popovich added insult to injury (literally) by stating that he had watched the tape several times and that “there’s no real contact.” I suppose we cannot really blame Pop for down-playing the kick to the groin though given all the other blatant cheap-shots Bowen has doled out to league superstars over the years that make this most recent infraction pale somewhat in comparison. Moreover, can there really be any doubt at this point that Popovich regularly uses Bowen as his personal thug to injure any opposing player who is hurting the Spurs on the scoreboard that night?

But, as I know some of you out there are too blinded by your love of the best team ever to cheat their way to multiple NBA championships (does the name Tim Donaghy ring any bells,) here are links to some of Bruce Bowen’s greatest hits in a legacy of cheating, dirty-play, and thugism:

Bowen Kicks Ray Allen from the Floor:

Bowen’s Famous ‘Foot-Defense’ Injures Steve Francis (note how the announcer even says that the NBA is trying to crack down on this move– not that they ever did anything though):

Bowen’s Same Foot Move on Crawford (the very next game):

Bowen Knees Steve Nash in the Balls (2007 Play-Offs):

Bowen Tries to Trip Steve Nash (from the same 2007 Play-Off series):

Bowen Kicks Amare Stoudemire in the Achilles Tendon (from the same 2007 Play-Off series):

Bowen Trips Amare Going to the Hole (FROM THE SAME 2007 PLAY-OFFS SERIES!):

Bowen’s Flying Ninja-Kick to Wally Szczerbiak’s face (keep in mind this was not the first time he delivered a flying kick to an opponent’s head):

Popovich Sends Bowen in to Injure Vince Carter:

And, of course, the latest…

Bowen Kick Chris Paul in the ‘Groin’:

So, with the NBA finally taking some action against Bowen’s dirty play, I can find some solace in the fact that Bowen will never come close to achieving the all-time record for consecutive games-played. Thankfully, that title will long remain in the hands of a man who was one of the classiest players in league history, A.C. Green.

That being said, let me just conclude by noting that I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that Bruce Bowen dies a very painful death from a combination of testicular cancer and repeated blows to the head with a spiked club.

Welcome to Sucktown- Tucson’s Losing Tradition

Tucson sports are in the toilet (and I am not just referring to the stink that surrounds their chosen locale.)  The former territorial capitol took several more steps toward the complete collapse of all athletic programs associated with the city this week as it now appears that several baseball programs have decided that it is time to pack their gear for greener pastures.

With the Arizona Diamondbacks’ Cactus League affiliate, the Tucson Sidewinders, already having announced a move to Reno, NV when their contract is up at the end of this season, the Chicago White Sox this week announced that they are looking to move their Spring Training home North to Goodyear at the earliest convenience as well.  The only question I have regarding this new information is, can anyone blame them?

For evidence that Tucson athletics’ esprit d’corps are currently at an all-time low, one need look no further than the sign which Arizona Tribune writer, Scott Bordow, recently witnessed workers erecting just inside city limits along I-10 stating, “Welcome to Tucson. Kick me.”

Indeed with the University of Arizona Wildcats having come off a year that marked their football teams third consecutive loss to their hated rival, Arizona State, and closing in on a decade without a bowl bid, the UofA athletics program suffered further hardships as both their men’s and women’s basketball teams were swept by the Sun Devils this season.

Adding insult to injury, the Wildcats’ recent loss of several top football recruits (Ryan Bass-RB, Jarrell Barbour-WR, Gerell Robinson-WR) to ASU after having received verbal commitments from all three spurred coach Mike Stoops to make what was probably his worst mistake since hiring his idiot brother to the team’s coaching staff.  Stoops is still feeling the heat from his scathing comment, made in response to the renegging of the recruits, that Arizona State has “turned into a JC school.”  A JC school, Mr. Stoops?  It would appear to me that ASU is one JC with which your pride-and-joy is incapable of competing both on the playing field and in the AD’s office.

With the steady decline of Tucson’s collegiate athletics and the closest thing the city has ever known to the professional ranks heading North to Maricopa County faster than Mexican drug-runner, one can only wonder what possible pride is left in town.

gadsden_purchase_cities_yioj.gif

So, as doubt continues to grow around the intelligence of Gadsden’s famous purchase, the people of Tucson can still find some solace that their city has one nice asset– the view North up I-10 towards hospitable confines of the Valley of the Sun.

 

leaving_tucson.gif

Tucson Sucks!

UofA Sucks!!

GO DEVILS!!!

Conflict of Interests

It is never easy to decide where you allegiances lie in the world of sports fandom.  Being a rabid Arizona State Sun Devils fan it is only natural that I also possess a violent disdain for the school’s rival, the University of Arizona Wildcats.  That rivalry does not present much conflict in and of itself but when college stars inevitably enter the world of professional sports problems can arise.

I have spent much of the past decade cheering on several former Wildcats as they play for my favorite pro teams, most notably Tedy Bruschi of the New England Patriots and Terry Francona (manager) of the Boston Red Sox.  Well, the conflict has reached a head recently due to some comments made by Bruschi regarding the Patriots practice schedule placing them in Sun Devil Stadium the week ahead of the big game.

During the off-week, the New York Post quoted the Patriots’ definsive-back as saying, “Coach Belichick told us we’re going to be practicing in the Arizona State practice facility and I was thinking, Arizona State, the Scum Devils.” Bruschi added that he would need to “shower twice” after practices.

Perhaps someone should remind Mr. Bruschi that the stadium where his team was practicing (they were in Sun Devil Stadium, and not the practice facility as he implied) has been home to several PAC-10 Champions (including a co-championship this season) and two Rose Bowl teams.  It is understandable that Bruschi overlooked this face as he and his fellow Wildcat alums have never achieved such successes.

There was, however, a bright spot that shone from the Devil-Wildcat rivalry during all the Super Bowl hoopla out in the desert this week.  PGA golfer, and proud Sun Devil alum, Phil Mickelson, showed true class by giving away his ticketsto the game to a father and son who showed up to cheer him on at the FBR Open golf tournament in Phoenix just hours before the game.

mickelson.jpg

The pair were given the tickets by Mickelson’s caddy just after ‘Lefty’ launched his first drive from the third tee of the FBR.  Mickelson explained his decision, “I thought it would be fun to give it to a father-son (group).  I cherish the time I have with each one of my kids, and I thought it would be a cool experience for them.”

Way to go, Phil!  You are a true class-act and continue to instill pride in the Sun Devil faithful in what you do both on and off the links.

GO DEVILS!!!

Jerry O’Connell is a Hater

Jerry O’Connell has suggested government intervention to break-up what he is calling the city of Boston’s “monopoly” on professional sports.  Speaking from Maxim magazine’s massive pre-Super Bowl party (a popular pulpit for invoking government-imposed restrictions of civil rights,) O’Connell expressed his dissatisfaction with the successes of Boston-area sports teams this season.

Being from New York, I am certain that O’Connell is quite familiar with sports monopolies as the city has been home to the most overpaid, owner-produced monopoly in the history of sports.   However, with the Red Sox having won the the World Series this past season and the undefeated New England Patriots on the door-step of another Super Bowl victory and a piece of NFL history, Mr. O’Connell feels something needs to be done. “It looks like the Celtics are going to win the season as well,” O’Connell said. “If the Boston Bruins, the NHL team, wins, the federal government has to break them up. They have to take a team away — they have to.”

In spite of Jerry O’Connell’s ability to win prominent roles in such Hollywood blockbusters as Joe’s Apartment and Kangaroo Jack, I still have a hard time taking a man who makes statements, like those above, too seriously.  However, without lending too much credence to this idiot’s call-to-action, I would like to remind him of the following facts:

  1. The Boston Red Sox have won two World Series titles in the past four years due to their strong development of farm talent within their own system.  During that same time, the Yankees have continued a steady trend of throwing all of their money at the latest flavor-of-the-week in hopes that he will be the ‘missing piece’ that will put them back on top.
  2. The Boston Celtics have spent the last two decades in total mediocrity after their heyday in the 1980s.  The team only truly became a consistent contender again this season with the acquisition of Kevin Garnett, a league MVP and the most highly sought-after player on the block this off-season.  The Celtics made a good move with the Timberwolves to get KG and are now reaping the benefits.
  3. The Boston Bruins are not a dominant team.  Their current record is 27-20-5, putting them third out of the five teams in their division and sixth among teams in the play-off race.  While it appears the B’s are in good shape to make the play-offs, they will certainly be a long-shot once they get there.
  4. The New England Patriots are undefeated all year and playing in today’s Super Bowl game, their fourth Super Bowl of the decade (so far.)  The Pats are just that good; there is nothing more to say about that.

That being said… stop the hate, Jerry.  It is your city’s turn to suck at sports for a while. Get over it!

Gameday, baby. Gameday!

Give ’em Hell, Devils!

Go out there and destroy San Jose State. Let’s make Dick Tomey wish he had stayed back in Northern Mexico.

asu07fallday1fp.jpg