Category Archives: iPod

Apparently Bono is Not the Only Douchebag Out There

I have not written in a while due to being to busy (which, given your comments to some of my other posts, I assume most of you imagine means I am out drowning kittens) but my Douchebag Alert! Bono’s Back! post has garnered such a continual influx of hateful comments that I feel compelled to reply to a few favorites. So, without further adieu, here are the words written by a few people who clearly missed to underlying message of aforementioned post (and my responses to them in bold):

· Greg // June 3, 2008 at 1:10 pm (edit)

Here’s your answer, from the same website you quote.

“The Global Fund has selected established grants with sound performance to receive money raised through (RED). To date, (RED) partners have generated more than $60 million for the Global Fund. No overhead is taken out of these funds – 100% of this money flows to Global Fund financed AIDS grants in Ghana, Rwanda, Swaziland and Lesotho. In these countries this money is helping to finance comprehensive national HIV/AIDS programs led by the ministries of health, to provide antiretroviral treatment for children and adults, to assist in the prevention of mother-to-child transmission of HIV, as well as essential counseling and testing activities to reduce the overall risk of HIV transmission.”

On one hand you have this, on the other you have what you’ve jerked off onto this site, read by few.

So…who’s the douchebag?

-Bono is still king douchebag but, thankfully, now he has company because you are one as well. I found the same fact that you did about 100% of (Red)’s profits going to Africa… then again, also found numerous other reports (from them and their affiliates) noting various other numbers that are being contributed. Here is a good example of that from the Apple site that sells those fruity (Red) iPods. Note that this site details “up to 50%” of the initiative’s gross profits going to help those poor AIDS sufferers in Africa… that is a markedly different number.

I never claimed to have a wide reader-base on this site; it is simply a place for me to voice my opinion on various issues for anyone who feels like listening to me… for someone who obviously has such a low opinion of my blog, I am surprised you took time to read it.

Alain // June 18, 2008 at 6:53 am (edit)

First sorry for my bad english.
As far as I know, the Red label is only 1 part of Bono’s work. If you want to know what Bono does to fight poverty, go here:http://www.one.org Extreme poverty is not an easy problem to fight, solution has nothing to do with charity. Maybe you should inform yourself before to criticize.

And to answer your question “How much is some?”(profit red label re-distribute) I would say:
maybe just a few….and may ask you: how much money did you give last year to fight poverty????? Probably nothing…The one campagne already saved many thousand children’s life, allowing them also to go to school, and just for this, Bono can be proud.

Moron toi-même!

-Yes, your grasp of the English language certainly does suck… if you are attempting to ask how much I gave last year to fight poverty then the answer is simple: I gave every hour of work at my job to fighting poverty… my own personal poverty, to be precise. I feel no need to give money to bull-shit causes half-way around the globe when I myself am not living a lavish lifestyle. It is very easy for people like Bono, who have spent decades living lives of decadence to such an extreme that you and I could never even comprehend, to ‘give a little back’ with these types of organizations. It builds positive PR for them and further increases both their own profits and their general perception by the public.

· beth // July 2, 2008 at 1:42 am (edit)

i’m not really sure why the author’s name does not appear anywhere on here. anyway, uh…”the dwindling lives of AIDS carriers in the most AIDS invested corner of the world”? are you talking about human beings? hopefully, neither you nor anyone you love gets sick or is dying or otherwise suffering from some disease. what do you propose we do to help you or your loved one if that happens – nothing? or just kill you because you aren’t in perfect health, a lost cause? someone to be disposed of like a piece of trash, the way you talk about african people who have contracted aids? that seems very humane & compassionate! i hope you learn to develop some empathy. maybe you can travel to africa & do some service work, learn to get outside your limited world view & b.s. (belief system).

-Why are you not sure about my name appearing on the post? How many times have you ever seen a blogger put their name on post? What purpose would it serve?

And, yes, I am talking about human beings; human beings who are infected with a terminal disease which makes their lives terrible up until the moment when they inevitably succumb to their illness(es). Several members of my friends and family have had terrible illnesses (I myself was diagnosed with having a brain tumor as a child) but there is a key difference between any of those afflictions and HIV/AIDS… none of our illnesses were terminal 100% of the time and none of them were capable of spreading and infecting other healthy people.

I am not saying that AIDS carriers in Africa deserve to die. I am saying that they are all going to die prematurely (as compared to health people) and that any money being thrown at solving the problem of this virus should be spent in finding a cure rather than propping up the sad lives of the small segment of the world population that is unlucky enough to suffer from it. This fact is only further supported when you consider that local African customs/practices are largely the cause of the continent’s AIDS pandemic. Factors like the prevalence of prostitution, female circumcision, local marrying practices (such as a widow automatically being married off to the brother of her deceased husband, even when he has died of AIDS), and certain false sexual/medical beliefs (like that having sex with a young virgin girl will cure a man of disease) have all been chief causes of the spread of HIV/AIDS in Africa.

We have plenty of medical/economic/social problems of our own in America. How about we take care of those first?

mike // July 25, 2008 at 10:23 am (edit)

Bono has done more for the world than a loser blogger like yourself ever could hope to do. He’s a rock star – he doesn’t have to work on humanitarian efforts, he does it because he wants to make a difference.

What absolute bull-shit! I never claim to have done anything for the world. The idea that people, as inhabitants of this planet, should “do” something to help the world at large is an idea invented to get people like you to thoughtlessly give your time and money to causes which you know nothing about (many of whom then line their own pockets with the cash of uneducated morons like yourself.)

If Bono actually cares so much for the poor diseased masses of the world then he should just give all his money to help them and not bother to advertise what he is doing every time he opens his stupid mouth. The reason he does this is not because he wants to “make a difference” (whatever the hell that means) but because he wants the world to see him as some great savior. If he is actually doing this to further the (Red) cause then that is actually worse as it means he honestly believes that he should be able to tell us how to live our lives.

To prove this point, you need look no further than Bono’s own comments about the (Red) campaign: ““Americans, whether they know it or not, are literally saving the lives of millions of people in the poorest places on the planet.” He is a proponent of attaching this little premium to products which he knows Americans already buy for the express purpose of donating it to causes which they may not even believe in. If this guy could somehow pass a law that everyone has to donate 10% of their pay to helping AIDS infected Africans, he would… since he is not able to do so, he starts up these ridiculous organizations.

Annie // August 3, 2008 at 12:22 am (edit)

For one freakin’ time of your life, use your brain before you talk. You must be just as stupid as you sound with comments like that about the sickness of AIDS in the continent of Africa. And Bono has done more for Africa than you’ll ever will. So who’s the real douche? You, for sure. Do something good for the world before you judge other people who does make a difference.

-You all seem to love this term, “make a difference.” What is that supposed to mean? You don’t even specify what kind of difference you are talking about. Here’s a little list of some people who have ‘made a difference’ in the lives of countless others around them:

  • Hitler
  • Jesus
  • Osama bin Laden
  • President George W Bush
  • Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold
  • Dr. Phil
  • Santa Claus

Making a difference is not always a good thing… sometimes it is, but sometimes it can be terrible. Sometimes it can be both, it just depends on whose perspective is being considered.

And that is exactly my point. You should not hold someone up as a champion of mankind because you think that they ‘made a difference.’ The terrorist attacks of 9/11 certainly made a difference but I bet you will get a markedly different interpretation of its value if you has a family member of someone who died that day as opposed to an Islamic militant in Afghanistan.

If you honestly believe that you can/should/need to help people suffering from AIDS in Africa then you should do so. Send money to whoever or wherever you want if you think that will somehow improve those people’s lives or the world at large. I object to losers like Bono grandstanding and rubbing their alleged philanthropy in my face every five minutes just so people like you will say, “Wow! He’s making a difference. Isn’t he a truly great example of humanity?”

I give money to the collection plate at church on Sunday (when I can afford it) because I want to do so and because I know the programs that money supports are in line with my own beliefs and will serve to help people I see in my community and wish to help. I do so without any fanfare or praise being heralded my way because that is how I like it; that’s what charity is to me. If you honestly believe that the only way for you to help someone less fortunate than yourself is to buy some red iPod or a pair of jeans emblazoned with the (Red) logo all over them so that everyone you meet knows that you “made a difference” then I think that is just sad… and you are a douchebag.

Be Cool… Buy a Mac!

You want to be cool.  Trust me, you do.  Lucky for you, we live in an age when preferred social status is just a few hundred bucks and a trip to the Apple store away.

Seriously, what is it with the BS marketing by Apple and all the resulting BS techno-babble that results when their simple-minded consumer base can’t seem to find anything better to do than prattle on and on about the greatness of their purchases?

Honestly, I think it’s just the shock that Apple’s group of flunkies found themselves capable of creating a halfway-decent product for the first time in three decades.  For the majority of my life, Apple has always represented the dumbed-down, idiot-proof side of the computing world (sort of the AOL of hardware, if you will.)  If you were too stupid or your needs too simple to justify buying a real computer, you bought a Mac.  At least they were still a company who was trying to sell their product based on its actual functional merits at that point though.

Then came those stupid iMacs.  A CPU and a monitor housed in a plastic case colored to look like a deformed creamsicle?  Please stand-by while I wet myself in excitement.

orange-imac-getty.jpgcreamsicle2.jpg

Then there was the iPod, the iBook, the iPhone, and the iBex… no wait, scratch that last one.  That would be the Mac version of a Siberian mountain goat (and let’s not give them any ideas for new product development.)

ibex2.jpg 

Damn, I was too late.

Either way, it was around that point that the company started advertising their products not as faster, more efficient, or really better in any way.  Macs were simply advertised as being cooler than the alternative.

Every niblet of information about a Mac product became infused with euphemisms and buzz-words that all implied that Apple users were somehow chic, edgy, or otherwise anointed as the leading edge of some new social movement.  With the iMacs it was always “They looks so cool.”  No they don’t; they look like packaged frozen dairy treats (as previously noted.)

For the first several years after its release, all I ever heard from iPod users was, “The interface is so intuitive.”  Intuitive?  Do these people even have a concept of the meaning of that word?  What aspect of the stupid dial on the front of an iPod is intuitive?  If you want to move down the list of songs, dial clockwise.  To move up the list, counter-clockwise.  Easy to use?  Yes, but not all that innovative and certainly not intuitive.  If the interface of the iPod actually worked on intuition, then there would be no physical interface on the device.  The iPod would simply divine which song you wanted to hear and play it without any input from the user at all.

Now the stupid iPhone is all the rage and I cannot turn on the television or go out in public without being bombarded with idiots espousing the greatness of their fancy new phone.  All the iPhone owners want to tell me how, “It’s like having an iPod, a cell phone, and an internet browser all in one.”  Really?  So, you mean it has the exact same functions as 95% of all cell phones sold in the past three years with the added bonus of requiring all updates and maintenance to come from Apple and all music added to the device to first be changed into some stupid format using more of Apple’s proprietary software… and I will look totally cool if I own one?  Wow!  Now all I need is some friends so I can call them and be seen using my cool phone in public.

Every time Apple releases a new product it’s like rush week in some idiotic fraternity where the only way to ensure you have friends is to run out and buy exactly what everyone else is buying as soon as humanly possible.

Perhaps the pinnacle of Apple’s campaign to become the epitome of coolness though is their latest batch of television advertisements.  I will admit that the two guys who stand against a white backdrop and proclaim in turn, “I’m a PC” and “I’m a Mac” were amusing the first time I saw one of these ads… maybe even the second one I saw invoked a light chuckle from me… but things have gotten out of hand now.

mac1.jpg

I get it.  The Mac is hip and cool; the PC is nerdy and lame.  It’s the same message you have used in every one of these commercials just stated in a slightly different way.  The thing is, computers (regardless of who makes them) are not cool.  I work with computers all day and then waste countless hours using them in my free-time every evening and not once have a I ever sat down at a keyboard and thought, “Now it’s time for me to really look smooth.”

Have you ever gotten a date because of your computer?  Have you ever gotten laid because your CPU came in a colored plastic case as opposed to a metal one?  Have you ever heard someone utter the words, “Damn, I’ve got to party with that guy, he owns an iBook”?  No.  Of course you haven’t.  Nobody has or ever will hear that about their computer.  You can’t make it sexy like a Ferrari or a $500k Rolex because, at the end of the day, it is still a computer, it still is not cool… and neither are you.