Category Archives: ESPN

Bruce Bowen Deserves to Die

If anyone can put forth a rational argument against the title of this post then I would be amused to hear it.

Bruce Bowen is human garbage. He is a disgrace to the game of basketball and to humanity at large. This moron capped off his league-leading 500th consecutive game by fouling Chris Paul (and somehow getting away with it, as usual) before hauling back and kicking Paul in the balls as the Hornets’ star lay defenseless on the floor. Even better, Bowen first assumed his usual hands-in-the-air innocent pose while delivering the kick to Paul’s man-region.

The one bright spot that arose out of this is that the NBA finally sat-up and took action against Bowen, suspending him for one game and fining him somewhere in the neighborhood of $37k. Yet still I have many questions for David Stern and his league-lackeys, such as: Why only one game? Why only $37k? And, most of all, what the hell took so long? This guy is dirtier than the floor of a Mexican port-o-potty and anyone who watches NBA basketball (aside from a select group of myopic Spurs’ fans) knows that Bowen has deserved much harsher punishment for many years.

Spurs’ coach Gregg Popovich added insult to injury (literally) by stating that he had watched the tape several times and that “there’s no real contact.” I suppose we cannot really blame Pop for down-playing the kick to the groin though given all the other blatant cheap-shots Bowen has doled out to league superstars over the years that make this most recent infraction pale somewhat in comparison. Moreover, can there really be any doubt at this point that Popovich regularly uses Bowen as his personal thug to injure any opposing player who is hurting the Spurs on the scoreboard that night?

But, as I know some of you out there are too blinded by your love of the best team ever to cheat their way to multiple NBA championships (does the name Tim Donaghy ring any bells,) here are links to some of Bruce Bowen’s greatest hits in a legacy of cheating, dirty-play, and thugism:

Bowen Kicks Ray Allen from the Floor:

Bowen’s Famous ‘Foot-Defense’ Injures Steve Francis (note how the announcer even says that the NBA is trying to crack down on this move– not that they ever did anything though):

Bowen’s Same Foot Move on Crawford (the very next game):

Bowen Knees Steve Nash in the Balls (2007 Play-Offs):

Bowen Tries to Trip Steve Nash (from the same 2007 Play-Off series):

Bowen Kicks Amare Stoudemire in the Achilles Tendon (from the same 2007 Play-Off series):

Bowen Trips Amare Going to the Hole (FROM THE SAME 2007 PLAY-OFFS SERIES!):

Bowen’s Flying Ninja-Kick to Wally Szczerbiak’s face (keep in mind this was not the first time he delivered a flying kick to an opponent’s head):

Popovich Sends Bowen in to Injure Vince Carter:

And, of course, the latest…

Bowen Kick Chris Paul in the ‘Groin’:

So, with the NBA finally taking some action against Bowen’s dirty play, I can find some solace in the fact that Bowen will never come close to achieving the all-time record for consecutive games-played. Thankfully, that title will long remain in the hands of a man who was one of the classiest players in league history, A.C. Green.

That being said, let me just conclude by noting that I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that Bruce Bowen dies a very painful death from a combination of testicular cancer and repeated blows to the head with a spiked club.

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