An Inconvenient Truth: The Ray Gun

So apparently American is insane, in more ways than one.

First, we created a ray-gun. That’s right, a weapon that shoots an invisible beam of energy that gives the target “the sensation that his skin is on fire.” Quite the sensation, I’m sure.

Then, we decide not to use the ray-gun. We spend a decade developing this thing and then bury it in some back closet like so much Michael Vick memorabilia. This is, in large part, out of the fear that this new weapon will be likened to torture.

The ray-gun, however, was developed as non-lethal tech. It is designed to give our military, the ability to disperse large crowds, often consisting largely of peaceful demonstrators, from a distance when danger arises without being forced to fire their rifles into the mob.

Sure it gives you the sensation that your skin is on fire; but I bet that will sure get the insurgent to drop his weapon and the homicide bomber to take his finger off the button.

Ray-gun, baby. RAY-GUN!

The ray-gun (or “Active Denial System,” if you don’t want to sound cool) works by firing directed waves (95 GHz) of electromagnetic radiation, exciting the water molecules in the outer 1/64″ of the target’s epidermis. While this does not burn the skin, it causing the aforementioned ‘burning sensation’ reportedly akin to having a hot light-bulb pressed against one’s skin. The effects, however, also reportedly diminish immediately upon exiting the targeted waves.

Sounds a lot tamer than tear gas and tasers to me. A whole lot cooler too. Just think of the psychological effect of having this used on you for the first time. You see some soldiers on a Humvee aiming a satellite dish at you and, before you can squeeze off that first round from your AK-47, your skin suddenly starts burning and you are writhing in pain on the ground. Suddenly, all the pain is gone and the Americans with the ray-gun are laughing themselves silly from 300 yards away.

Torture or not, I think I am going to stop messing with the guys with the ray-gun. Afterall, Ronald Reagan did a pretty good job dealing with those commies, maybe it is time for a new Ray-Gun administration in America.

(Sorry folks, couldn’t help myself.)


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