It seems that Al Gore has had a real solution to global warming all along. All the doubts I have had hearing these speeches about how we need to save the Earth so our children’s children’s children’s what-have-you will not have to live in a rotting cesspool of a planet; Gore really did have a plan all along. A brilliant one at that!
We don’t need to save the glaciers… or the rain-forests. We don’t need to cut down on Styrofoam use and CFCs… or even buy those hybrid-vehicles which make their owner’s feel that warm sense of self-worth all over. All we need to do to save our future generations the pain of living in a polluted world of sweeping planetary warming and ice ages is to ensure that these future generations never come to be. And how do we do that, you ask? Simple…
Mr. Gore has taken the approach of spending his son’s formative years battling for his own unachieved political greatness and, failing in that endeavor, sinking into a slow mental and physical descent of increasingly crazy doomsday theories and general obesity. The result: a son who was just plead guilty to possession of marijuana and several other illicit substances. Of course the most remarkable aspect of Al-3’s little drug-binge was that the cops found his stash in his car when he was pulled over, on the Fourth of July, doing 100-mph in his Toyota Prius. (That’s not a joke; read the article.) I’ve never driven a Prius personally (I’m a man afterall) but I am guessing that young Mr. Gore may have slipped his little Toyota a few of his uppers to achieve that speed.
I suppose we will soon see just how stalwart is the resolve of elder Gore’s now that his son so clearly needs some parental guidance in his life. Afterall, in the House of Gore, this little slip-up goes much deeper than a narcotics charge. If Gore III is smoking anything, just think how that is increasing his carbon footprint. Open flames, butane lighters, burning plants! This kid might as well be slashing and burning his own personal rain-forest every time he lights up (and I doubt that the Earth-friendly Prius is achieving peak fuel-efficiency pulling 100-mph.)
Al “Tokyo Drift” Gore III
How are so many people blind to the overt hypocrisy in man’s attempt to negate his own planetary impact by taking even greater strides into the scientific unknown? If you honestly believe that mankind’s ‘carbon footprint’ over the past few thousand years has had that great of an impact on a global scale then how do you justify grandiose attempts to blanket the ice caps, churn the seas, and change to new fuel sources overnight? If we have really set our own planet on the path to a new cycle of warming and cooling (as it has gone through before) then humans have merely played their role in another chapter of Earth’s existence and, whether our species survives or not, our planet has a far greater ability to achieve homeostasis than we have to off-set it.
I am not saying that we, as a species, should uniformly turn into the Armageddon skid and torch our world beyond recognition like so many thousands of parked cars into the Paris night. If we do, mankind will undoubtedly destroy itself in record time. But does anyone really believe that the answers to the vast mysteries of Earth’s climatological ebbs and flows are going to be spewed from the mouth of this guy?
Al Gore talks a good game about saving the world for our children’s children but that it not his real interest. This is a man who, after failing in his quest for the Presidency, has consistently used his political clout to establish himself as a leader in an already growing social movement, thereby maintaining some pathetic grasp on his dwindling time in the social spotlight. Mr. Gore, after seeing his little moment at Live Earth, appears far more interested in saving his own place in the world epic than he does in saving the world itself. The only future generations Al is interested in seeing are those who will erect monuments to his greatness.
(footnote: This article is tagged ‘internet’ due to Al Gore having invented the internet.)