Terror Threat Level : Yellow American

Great; this is just great.

First it was the knives and box-cutters they said “No” to on the plane– Fine; it made sense.

Then I was taking my shoes off because some moron who looks like Bullwinkle Moose tried to light his Nike’s on fire–Deal with it; a small price to pay for a beloved cartoon character.

richard_reid_1.jpg Must’ve got the wrong shoes, Rock! bullwinkle.jpg

Then it was the liquids, gels, creams, and pretty much anything else of mine that the TSA guys want and which I cannot scientifically prove to be in either a solid or gaseous state– Whatever; you can have the last two ounces of my root beer and the foot deodorizing cream. The general public has to draw the lines somewhere though and, personally, I draw it at cheese.

Yes indeed, cheese seems to be the latest in the terrorists repertoire of aviation smuggle-ables and, if the past five years have provided us with any indication, will soon be the latest casualty in Al Qaeda’s unending struggle to plague the Western world’s commercial air-travelers with an ever-increasing number of minor inconveniences.


Evidence of Al Qaeda’s new weapons cache- somewhere deep inside in Switzerland.

Since late September 2006, America’s crack-squad of nearly high-school educated TSA security screeners have intercepted passengers carrying: two ice packs filled with a clay and encased in duct-tape; checked baggage with a plastic bag (apparently this would-be terrorist didn’t realize you only need the quart-sized bags for carry-on) which contained 9-volt batteries, wires, and a block of “brown clay-like minerals” and pipes; as well as a several dairy aficionados carrying everything ranging from metal coils to electrical switches to cell phone chargers- all wired or somehow attached to various blocks of cheese.

Apparently those crafty jihadists have figured out that cheese looks similar to certain explosive materials under x-ray scrutiny as well as providing a tasty in-flight snack once you remove the 9-volts and duct-tape.

I do not mean to make light of some of the real American losses from international terrorism. Obviously the knife ban is a result of the tragedy of 9/11 and there are probably very few who who have voiced any opposition to this policy.

The liquid/cream/gel fiasco was all due to an attempt, foiled months before the conspirators were to take action, to sneak gelatinous explosives onto an airliner. Thankfully no one was ever in any real danger but the resulting ban did cause numerous airport businesses, past their respective security check-points, to shut-down permanently. This was a hit to American business and free enterprise, but isn’t there a point where we have to stop the blanket prohibition of everyday items or run the risk of permanently losing our personal rights as Americans?

Wouldn’t it be a more logical approach to play the odds on this one? (Not like Tim Donaghy did.) The handful of idiots (they were conspiring with federal agents) who would have attempted to get a gel explosive past the TSA represent a minuscule fraction of a minority of the people who bring liquids, etc. on U.S. flights each day, month, year, whatever.

Not that one explosive getting through is acceptable, but how about focusing on a much better bet in the terrorist department. Rather than checking everyone with a tube of Colgate, how about focusing on groups of people like Arabs, Muslims, or Arab-Muslims since virtually every terrorist act in the past four decades in America and abroad has been conceived, planned, and carried out by members of one of these groups.

Note that the article listed above makes no mention of the ethnicity, home-nation, or religious fanaticism of choice of those attempting to sneak these ‘fake-bombs’ through security. The writer is, in fact, specifically ambiguous when it comes to addressing whether they were American citizens vs. foreign nationals stating simply that each suspicious package was carried by a ‘couple’ or a ‘U.S. person’ which is quickly defined as “either a citizen or foreigner legally here.”

Perfect! There is another piece of intel for the ‘racial profiling’ notes. The suspected terrorists are, as they were on 9/11 and virtually every subsequent attempt, legally here. So people who are rightfully here are just as likely (or perhaps more-so) to attempt to launch terrorist attacks on our air travel industry. But I’ll bet you Dinars to doughnuts that every one of these geniuses trying to board a flight with a couple 9-volt batteries lashed to a block of Gouda would have been caught in the oppressive net of ‘racial profiling’ long before they ever found the cheese-shop.


One response to “Terror Threat Level : Yellow American

  1. “But I’ll bet you Dinars to doughnuts that every one of these geniuses trying to board a flight with a couple 9-volt batteries lashed to a block of Gouda would have been caught in the oppressive net of ‘racial profiling’ long before they ever found the cheese-shop.”


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