An Inconvenient Truth: The Ray Gun

So apparently American is insane, in more ways than one.

First, we created a ray-gun. That’s right, a weapon that shoots an invisible beam of energy that gives the target “the sensation that his skin is on fire.” Quite the sensation, I’m sure.

Then, we decide not to use the ray-gun. We spend a decade developing this thing and then bury it in some back closet like so much Michael Vick memorabilia. This is, in large part, out of the fear that this new weapon will be likened to torture.

The ray-gun, however, was developed as non-lethal tech. It is designed to give our military, the ability to disperse large crowds, often consisting largely of peaceful demonstrators, from a distance when danger arises without being forced to fire their rifles into the mob.

Sure it gives you the sensation that your skin is on fire; but I bet that will sure get the insurgent to drop his weapon and the homicide bomber to take his finger off the button.

Ray-gun, baby. RAY-GUN!

The ray-gun (or “Active Denial System,” if you don’t want to sound cool) works by firing directed waves (95 GHz) of electromagnetic radiation, exciting the water molecules in the outer 1/64″ of the target’s epidermis. While this does not burn the skin, it causing the aforementioned ‘burning sensation’ reportedly akin to having a hot light-bulb pressed against one’s skin. The effects, however, also reportedly diminish immediately upon exiting the targeted waves.

Sounds a lot tamer than tear gas and tasers to me. A whole lot cooler too. Just think of the psychological effect of having this used on you for the first time. You see some soldiers on a Humvee aiming a satellite dish at you and, before you can squeeze off that first round from your AK-47, your skin suddenly starts burning and you are writhing in pain on the ground. Suddenly, all the pain is gone and the Americans with the ray-gun are laughing themselves silly from 300 yards away.

Torture or not, I think I am going to stop messing with the guys with the ray-gun. Afterall, Ronald Reagan did a pretty good job dealing with those commies, maybe it is time for a new Ray-Gun administration in America.

(Sorry folks, couldn’t help myself.)

Playing the Race-Card– On Two. Set. Hike!

This is not an issue of race. People are not reacting so harshly to this group of four black men, or even the one black superstar, because of the color of their skin. The courts are reacting because they broke the law. The NFL is reacting because Vick broke their rules. The public is reacting because they find dog-fights and the ensuing executions to be barbaric. This is not an issue of race.

This did not stop one NAACP leader, of course, from recently calling for Vick to be given the benefit of the doubt by his former league, team, and sponsors. R.L. White, president of the NAACP’s Atlanta chapter, told America that “as a society, we should aid in his (Vick’s) rehabilitation and welcome a new Michael Vick back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in football.”

What ‘rehabilitation’ is he talking about?

Vick said, just weeks ago, that he was looking forward to ‘clearing his name’ of the charges against him. Now, in the face of his co-defendants turning on him, he immediately announces that he will plead guilty. These are not the actions of a remorseful man looking to better fit the mold his society wishes for him; they are the actions of someone who knows when he is beat and is trying to salvage some semblance of his former decadent life.

White alluded to this very fact, saying that he supported Vick’s guilty plea, if it was in the man’s best interest, but that he believed it was a decision more about “cutting losses than the truth.” Why are these two mutually exclusive? It seems to me to be a clear case of Vick and Co. cutting their respective losses in the daunting face of the truth.

White went on to say that Vick has received more negative press “than if he had killed a human being,” and that he considers dog-fighting to be “as bad as hunting.” So the real bottom-line for this guy is not that dog-fighting should be legal, but that other activities that he finds immoral, should be illegal as well. Maybe this guy is working for the wrong group; I am sure PETA would love to have a little chat with him.

Comparing a sport which is enjoyed the world over and follows in the foot-steps of man’s survivalist instinct to breeding animals with the express intent of locking them in brutal, mortal combat with each other for your own amusement and financial gain is pretty sad. It is even worse when you juxtapose a hunter stalking his prey and turning a successful kill into useful meat, hides, etc. with a bunch of drug-fiends hanging, drowning, and electrocuting dogs whose only crime was poor fighting ability.

Perhaps Mr. White’s most pervasive bit of wisdom shared that day though was his simple summation of the charges against Vick, “His crime is, it was a dog.”

No, his crime is, he bred and trained dogs to fight (a crime), gambled on the fights (a crime and NFL rule violation), while taking drugs (a crime), and then executed at least eight dogs in barbaric fashion (a crime, unlike hunting.)

If this guy was really concerned about racial injustice then perhaps he would have a better defense for Vick than saying that the quarterback has been hung out to dry by his co-defendants who are also black. That is merely supporting the man who has the most power and influence to lend to your side and nearly as ludicrous a case of passing the buck as comparing the charges against Michael Vick to sport-hunting.

Con-Vick

Well that was fast.

What had appeared to be several long months or years of Michael Vick ‘clearing his name’ in the court and media came to an abrupt halt yesterday as it was announced that the quarterback would plead guilty to the charges against him. At least Vick is smart enough to listen to his legal team and know when he is licked.

 

This was the only halfway intelligent move Vick could have made at this point. His thin sliver of hope at retaining his NFL career was rapidly diminishing (given that he was also facing gambling charges) and, as even Vick’s most vocal supporters were espousing, his chances at trial were pathetic given the public outcry already unleashed against him.

So, as the Vick drama is seemingly all over but the sentencing, I am left with questions. I do not condone dog-fighting or other activities of that ilk but neither do I believe that fighting dogs should necessarily warrant as much as five years in the clink. Afterall, the case here is over mistreatment of animals, and people seem to get off a lot easier in many cases for abusing and murdering other people.

Remember Kids, Like Russell says…

I recognize that these are animals which are bred and raised specifically to meet their inevitable violent death–granted. But then again, so are beef cattle (to a certain extent.) The lobsters we order for $10/lb have drawn a similar lot in life, don’t you think. But I digress from my previous point– I am left with questions.

Why kill the losing or feeble dogs in such a cruel fashion? Why electrocute, drown, or even hang a dog? Each seems an overly-involved and overly-dangerous way to do away with an unwanted animal. Moreover, it’s not like the other dogs are going to ‘get the message’ here. These are not kidnapees or POWs; they are dogs! We hang humans because it makes for an easy and graphic means of dispature of someone over which we already have corporeal control. I cannot imagine the process of hanging a pit-bull that has been bred for mortal combat to be a very easy one.

These are the offenses of Michael Vick which most anger me. If you breed dogs for violence, and they fail in that end, why needlessly brutalize them further in death? These are not rhetorical questions; I would honestly like some feedback on this. The only logical benefit I can see Vick and his cronies deriving from this cruelty is some sick psychological pleasure in killing these animals in such a fashion.

Ah, what the hell… Just fry him.

Dog Bites Vick

Well things continue to look worse and worse for dear old Michael Vick. The remaining two of Vick’s three co-defendants yet to cop a plea bargain did just that last week and have now admitted their guilt in the dog-fighting ring. Vick now stands as the sole hold-out in the court and, with his buddies now building the state’s case against him, the former NFL star looks to stand even less chance of beating this rap than his Atlanta Falcon’s do at making this year’s NFL playoffs lead by Joey Harrington.All this, of course, comes just a week after Nike and Reebok yanked all of their Vick-related shoes and jerseys from store shelves and effectively ended any future compensation from their respective contracts with the star. Michael Vick’s collectibles will also be absent from at least two of the major trading-card companies’ future offerings (we are told that the stick of gum in each pack, however, will still be present– hard and unpalatable as always.)

Never fear, those of you who still need to see Vick’s grinning mug on some mundane object in your everyday lives, because there is still one piece of Vick merchandise available on the open market. In spite of, or rather in response to, Vick’s fall from grace we are lucky enough to bear witness to the launch of a new era in commercialized crap– the Michael Vick doggy chew-toy.

Now your very own dog can do the job that Michael Vicks’ parents clearly never did and beat some sense into this moron. For just $10.99 (plus S&H) you too can watch as your Shih-Tzu exacts its toothy Cujo-esque revenge (once the several weeks of back-orders are processed anyway.)

So while you may no longer find Vick jerseys and t-shirts lining the shelves of your local store, the American quest for the almighty dollar continues. One man has lost his fortune and fame; Nike, Reebok, and their ilk are out millions of dollars on merchandise which will never sell; and the city of Atlanta is without its star quarterback. Yet the money is still flowing somewhere and, as is so often the case in America, it is the enterprising, inventive individuals who reap the benefits.

Snakes (Almost) On a Plane

A Saudi man was recently stopped by Cairo airport security due to some suspicious readings given off when his luggage passed through the x-ray scanner. The Egyptian TSA agents opened the man’s carry-on bags to find a number of living snakes, chameleons, and baby crocodiles wriggling inside.

The man’s explanation for this… he was unaware that a ban on bringing such creatures aboard international flights exists. Of course, who among us has never encountered that amusing scenario where you are flying home for Thanksgiving and remove your keys, shoes, liquids, gels, etc. only to remember that your pet monitor lizard is asleep in your laptop bag? Apparently this guy was bringing the animals back to a Saudi university to be used as test subjects (I assume in a lab or to bolster the curve for mid-term grades.) In the end the security agents confiscated the animals and gave them to the zoo after letting their previous owner board his flight home as scheduled.

 Saudi-Air’s newest safety card.

The most shocking aspect of this story though is that the reason this was seemingly no big deal is that this was not a rare occurrence. In May, another Saudi was caught at the same airport with his carry-on stuffed with 700 live snakes! Those snakes were apparently going to be sold as pets and conversation pieces according to that air-traveler.  If it was me though, I think I would have told them it was just a daring homage to my favorite Samuel L. Jackson film.

Do the Right Thing

Why do these people continue to act as they do?

The Taliban, in their latest attempt at diplomacy by way of terrorism, announced that they would release two of the 21 South Korean hostages in the near future. The two female hostages are ’sick’ and will allegedly be set free as a result. Putting aside the fact that local leaders have expressed serious doubts as to the validity of the claim, the Taliban is still insisting upon the release of 21 terrorists from Afghani prisons. That isn’t intelligent bargaining even for kidnapping thugs.

Let us not forget that the reason why there are currently 21 South Korean hostages, and not 23, is because their captors shamefully executed two of the members of the kidnapped church group weeks ago. If you abduct 23 people in an overt attempt to gain the release of an equal number of your captive brothers, and then kill two because the negotiations are not going to your liking, you don’t get to just ask for the release of 21 of your original group. If these scumbags are going to resort to thug tactics like kidnapping an innocent church group then they should expect the people with whom they bargain to act in kind. You kill two of your prisoners, we kill two of ours; now we each have 21 left to bargain with– your move, Osama.

The sad answer to my original question is all too clear though. The murdering terrorists continue to kidnap innocent foreigners because the foreign governments continue to give in to their demands (to one degree or another.) In the case in question, the people negotiating for the release of the South Koreans even alluded to paying a monetary ransom en lieu of releasing the Al Qaeda militants. So they abduct, torture, and murder two-dozen people and South Korean pays them off for their trouble.

Hasn’t anyone else noticed that they aren’t kidnapping the American journalists and civilians anymore? There is no reason because they know they best thing they will get out of it is a week of coverage on FoxNews and a lot more Americans pissed off at their thug tactics.

There is a reason why America’s iron-clad ‘no negotiation’ policy works in cases of kidnappings and terrorism. It is not always the easiest route to take but it ultimately deters terrorism for ransom in the only feasible way; it eliminates the goal of taking a hostage in the first place. You cannot get blood from a stone and America’s model is the stalwart rock of which the rest of the world should take serious note.

South Korea is going through a dark time right now but they should not give in to the likes of a deposed terrorist regime trying to regain their political stranglehold with more of the same terrorism. This is not some one-time occurrence where a mugger takes your wallet at knife-point; this is a recurring system of extortion by terror and the only way to prevent the ugly result is to eliminate the motivation for it. South Korea, and all nations whose people fall victim to these cowardly thugs, have the power to stop this trend.

Do the right thing.

A Voice Unheard

I am a member of a minority group. Like many social minorities, we are subject to a fair degree of social injustice on a daily basis. Worse yet, unlike some victims of social discrimination, ours is not an issue of choice but rather one of merely being born different. Many of these other groups, whatever the cause of their plight, have a large public outcry in favor of improving their rights and overall social standing; our voice is silent to the world.

Historically, our people have been mocked, vilified, and tortured for our perceived human inequities. For centuries, we have been told we are wrong and been subjected to various social and physical manipulations in an attempt to ‘makes us normal.’

We represent nearly fifteen percent of America and yet remain complacent to the blatant discrimination all around us. Our modern lives are full of problems for us that the rest of the world will not even recognize. The epithets with which we are tarred allude to sinister dealings yet no retaliation is ever launched. Indeed many of the most mundane elements of American life are set to turn the odds against us.

Computers, scissors, cars, even the desks we are forced to use in school are all designed with someone else in mind. The very system of written communication in the modern world is in direct contrast to our own natural capabilities. Even baseball, in spite of all the great names we have brought to the game and decades after America’s pastime became racially equal, is a game which limits our kind from playing certain roles due to how God chose to make us.

Have you got it yet? Are you maybe one us us? Can’t find a catcher’s mitt or good set of rental golf clubs? Do you have zero hope of ever becoming a calligrapher? Then you might be– left-handed!

Right-handed desks, transmissions, scissors, golf-club, can-openers… it is a right-man’s world, no doubt. Left-handed people are at a distinct disadvantage from when they first learn to write in school to using many modern tools and machines.

There is, of course, a reason for this. We are the minority in a democratic nation and, being such, are subject to the whims of the majority. We have no lobby, no trust fund-fattened backers rallying the nation to our plight. We get by as we always have, by twisting our wrist to write with a pen, by renting ill-fitted clubs every time we hit the links, and by admitting that we will never play catcher for a major league club.

It is not an easy life, but it is one we suffer with a quiet dignity in the knowledge that we still survive. The fact that nuns would beat us in school and force us to use the wrong hand pales in the court of social injustices when juxtaposed with centuries of bonded servitude or even illegally crossing a border because you want a better life.

Without a booming social voice, I find solace in the simple things; the laughs I get from a crowded dinner table, watching all the rightys perpetually pick up and put down their silverware in order to facilitate their overly complicated act of eating, the fact that we will always represent a far greater number of ambidextrous people as well as legendary MLB hitters and pitchers for the mere fact that we live in a world designed for them– not us.

This has been, The Leftist Manifesto.

Drug-Testing for Welfare Wannabes

A friend of mine recently raised, what I thought to be, a very good question. Why is it that so many honest, hard-working Americans are subjected to pre-employment and/or random drug-screenings by their employers and yet no such requirements exist for people to collect welfare benefits?

As of the date of the most comprehensive statistics I could find (without looking too hard,) Michigan is the only state in the U.S. that requires ’suspiscionless’ drug-testing for all welfare recipients. The Welfare Reform Act of 1996 granted all states the right to choose drug-screening as a requirement for welfare applicants; Michigan is just the only state to act on that power.

Most arguments against drug-screening (of any kind) are based around the Fourth Amendment’s references to unreasonable search and seizure. I am not usually one to go against those standing behind our Bill of Rights but here I think the document is being used in the wrong context.

We want to prevent the government from imposing such ’searches and seizures’ in any form, including drug-testing, when it is a violation of our rights as citizens of the United States. As far as I am concerned, welfare benefits are a privilege our humble tax dollars should afford to a select, deserving few.

I know that welfare regulation is not such a cut-and-dry matter but mandatory drug-testing, even on the tax-payer’s dime, for all welfare applicants seems like a logical starting point. Why should the very people supporting those on welfare be powerless to the fact that their money is perpetuating the cycle of drug-abuse that prevents the poor, huddled masses from getting a good job because the company performs pre-employment drug-screenings?

Obviously the private sector has found a far better way of regulating to whom they will be giving their money. Afterall, that is the crux of the issue; it is their money. The government blows through our tax dollars faster than, well… faster than a welfare supported drug-addict on the first of the month.

We, as voting citizens, need to make our voices heard and prevent abuse of our massively over-burdened welfare system with one very simple, logical step: stop our money from being wasted on drugs. It isn’t the ultimate solution but it is a solution nonetheless.